The Secret is a best selling book on the law of attraction but the OTHER secret is the secret YOU’VE been keeping. Being of a “liver constitution” which I will explain in another article (it has to do with my facial features), I am a shareholder of many secrets. I have heard the virginal confessions of patients, friends and strangers. I have the same reaction to hearing every secret. It is, “wow, I am so grateful to be a witness to your willingness to be vulnerable and grow.” In other words, if you find out the reason you have trouble swallowing is a thyroid tumor, I could be excited that you now know how to get it treated and soon you’ll be able swallow well again! The content of the secret is really not as intriguing to me as the person’s emotional and mental bravery.
Do you have a secret that has never left your lips? Is there something about you that NO ONE on this earth knows about? Why? Spend a moment here. Now, if there WAS someone you would share this with, who would it be? Imagine yourself telling this person-it could be a friend, spouse, therapist, priest, bartender etc. What would be the worst reaction you would get? How would that make you feel. Now what would be the best reaction and how would that feel?
This is what Happens when you Tell a Secret:
1. PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder): There is an aspect of fight or flight response that is reprogrammed in your cellular memory that changes when you tell someone a secret. Anything that used to trigger feelings or memories surrounding the secret can shift. For example, if you secretly had an abortion and fear judgment, you may get uncomfortable when the topic comes up in conversations. After sharing it with someone you may then be able to face the topic in discussion (not necessarily your own experience) without a rapid heart rate and sweaty palms.
2. Space: Now you have more space in your emotional and mental fields to conduct positive activity rather than fear and worry. Out with the old!
3. Support & Community: Realizing you are not alone is the single most saught after feeling in the universe (Hello- the movie Contact). Connect with other people who share your secret if you like. Research how other people have healed by addressing their secrets. You are guaranteed to find other people with the same secret.
4. Freedom: The act of voicing a secret is incredibly empowering. It can feel like dropping a weight or removing hand cuffs. Sharing you secret also encourages others to do the same.
How to find out if you are ready to share your secret:
1. You imagine how amazing it would feel to be free of the secret’s burden. The positive things I addressed above sound enticing. You are ready to have these wonderful results.
2. You recognize that this secret is holding you back from enjoying life. You are ready to start living.
Take it easy on yourself and Take Judgement out of the Equation. Here is a list of who you can tell:
1. Find someone who has kept the same types of secrets. An Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor can relate to someone with a closet addiction.
2. Find a professional. Tell a health care professional or a counselor. The more experience they have, the more likely they’ve heard your type of secret many times and the more tried advice they can offer. Many of these people are required by law NEVER to share your secret (unless your life is in danger).
3. Tell someone who loves you.
What is more powerful than sharing your secret with a person? That would be sharing it with multiple people. Some secrets are better shared in smaller circles but consider finding more than one safe confidant and see how it makes you feel. I remember when I told a friend that I had been cheated on, the shame I had associated with it dissipated. I learned that many people shared my experiences and had similar feelings. I had a completely new perspective on the experience. I could let go of many of the negative feelings and fears I had. Now it is just something that happened without a lot of the junk I had built up in my own head. Secrets are BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH! They eat away at you.