My Biggest Fear Of Being A Mother

May 28, 2014


Memorial Day Rooftop Memorial Day RooftopThank you so much for the awesome feedback on the blog photos. I’ve been working on improving them and I really appreciate the positive reaction! How gratifying!!

OK, my biggest fear of becoming a mother (as of today) is becoming the walking dead. 

I get on rampages. The past two days I’ve been backing up all of my photos and videos on an external hard drive so that my computer will run faster and so that I have all the files organized. I’ve been taking so many photos and editing photos so I need a good organization system.

I run loads of laundry, clean, cook and grocery shop in structured “breaks” I construct so that I don’t go into a non-showering, cheese and cracker eating couch potato when I get on these streaks. 

Yesterday, I even went to work on it at a cafe so I could corner an amount of time to work on it and then walk away for a while. When I was working full-time, I would totally stay up late at night working on little projects from photo book gifts to arts and crafts. 

I hear you’re supposed to nap when the baby naps or else you’ll never get any sleep. Well, I know I will be burning to do some little project the second those baby eyes close. 

I’m most happy when I have an obsession. Surely that will be the baby but I know that I’ll need more! I’m going to need my best discipline skills so that I stay fresh! I hear you just get better at doing things with no sleep. I once fell asleep standing up in my Navy days. That’s another story. I wasn’t even breastfeeding though. Yikes!

What keeps you up late at night????

(Here’s a couple of pics of us “nest-partying” on Memorial Day. We finally got up on our rooftop! There’s a hot tub up there too but we’ve never used it!)

  • Okay, I am definitely the same! I have the hardest time napping when my daughter naps. I get the free time and suddenly feel the need to do all the things! And once she started sleeping well, you’d think I’d go to bed early. Nope. Later. Makes no sense! But on the bright side, you look beautiful as always in the top pic! And that watermelon-ness makes me want to eat the second picture!

    • I hear that’s what happens! A good friend of mine stays up SUPER late to have time to herself! You are so awesome for throwing compliments! It makes me feel great. Thank you! XOXOOX

  • I’ve completely failed at leaving comments lately! I have been reading every post and telling myself to reply when I get on my laptop (it’s just easier that way since I normally check your posts from my phone during breaks at work) but when I get home I just forget! I’m so so glad you’re including more pictures in your posts and you share your real thoughts whether they’re silly or serious. I do keep all my things on an external hard drive. For school things, I only keep the current semester on my laptop. For pictures, I only keep the current season. I feel like my pictures take up all of my space because I really don’t keep much else on there. I hope you find a method to the madness! I’m glad you have things you enjoy doing that keep you busy so I’m sure eventually you’ll find a “time syste” to balance it all when baby comes.

    • Oh, Thien! Hey, love your comments whenever you can leave them! You know, I have trouble doing things on my phone sometimes or it just seems so much more difficult. I hope that improves when iPhone comes out with a new model with a bigger display. 🙂 OK, cool, you keep mostly everything on an external. I’m starting to do that now and it is working out great! Yes, it’s going to be a huge adjustment and I’m so curious to see how it all works out! Thank you, Thien. XO

  • I’m sure you’ll be just as organized with fitting in your projects. It just might take some advanced planning haha.

    • My power animal tarot card told me to take it easy today. 🙂 Yes, I bet I’ll take on a new type of OCD! 🙂

  • It’s natural to have fears regarding your impending motherhood but I think you’ll find a way to adjust to everything including a new routine when the time comes. Love that pic of you and Charlie! You both look so content 🙂

    Rowena @ rolala loves

    • Thank you, Rowena! We were SO content. He is such a great example to me. Charlie knows how to relax and let it all hang out! I’m seriously going to need him while I’m in labor at home before the hospital. I know he’ll keep me calm. XO

  • Oh man, I wish I had half your energy! I obviously don’t have mothering advice to offer up, but I do hope you take time to sleep so you don’t end up repeating your falling asleep standing up thing (that would be no bueno… I do want to hear this story, though! haha). I am sure everything will come together once the baby is here and you will be a fantastic mother, I just know it. I keep saying it, but I’m seriously SO excited for you! 🙂 p.s. the pic of you and your dog is gorgeous!!

    • Thank you so much, Abby. Knowing that people like you are rooting for me helps a lot! I’m staying positive and eager to allow this next step in my life to happen. Now that all my photo files are backed up…I’m ready for the baby LOL. Oh, falling asleep standing up was cray. Thank you!!!

  • Teresa Welge Harris

    Honestly, in those first few moments at home, all you need to worry about is skin-to-skin and breastfeeding. It happens to all of us, we want to clean or wash something! Fight the urge! 🙂 I, also, couldn’t keep my eyes open during those first few days! Seemed like every time I nursed, we napped! I preferred to side-lie nurse, but Chris was afraid I was going to suffocate the little dude, because well….my boobs were larger than life at that point! So I nursed sitting up and therefore, I slept sitting up! You are going to be great! The rhythm will come. Promise!

    • You are so right! LOL-I won’t be suffocating anyone with my…parts…well, maybe my thighs LOL. I’ve got to set up some real “stations” in my house where I can camp and have all the stuff I need around. Great advice, Teresa! Thank you for your support!! XO

  • You will fall into a system that works for you! Don’t worry mama, you’ve got this!

    • I am praying for that release of perfectionism grip! 🙂 I’ve got to be kind to myself so baby will be too! 🙂 Thank you, Meg!

  • BlushandBarbells

    good morning beautiful lady! You will be a wonderful mother