This was a peaceful breakfast we had in Paris a couple of years ago. I join in the movement for choosing to push away fear and bring love and strength to the forefront. My mother and her siblings grew up with parents who endured a war and a third world society. Teaching survival from robbers, abductors etc. was an integral part of their upbringing from parents who had experienced such things. They grew and thrived as a family as Korea came up but still, these lessons were passed on to us. My sister and I were taught to be brave, not fearful. We were strong and kind. We used to roll our eyes when our mom would tell us ways to defend ourselves in case of trouble because we always lived in super hokey-safe neighborhoods. Chris and I want to show Grant that the world is a good place. Sometimes bad things can happen but the world is still good and he can make a difference in it.We are praying for all the people lost in Paris and their families.
What have you been thinking about after the events in Paris?
My mom has been here all week. She cooks us meals, does our laundry and takes Grant to the park many times a day. I feel so spoiled! I had a huge list of things I wanted to get done and then I ended up mostly sleeping. HA! Glorious.
I made this plant hanger for our bedroom from some macrame rope I got at Micheals a few weeks ago. I’ve been making a point to fit in a tiny bit of time each week to work on a fun project. I used to want large blocks of time to dedicate to creativity and now I’m finding ways to fit in little sprints of it.
I’ve even been knitting again (yes, still the same baby baby blanket for Grant) a few minutes every few nights and it’s awesome!
Is there a little fun project that you could fit into a few minutes here and there? It makes me immensely happy!
I’m a walking zombie a lot of the time but I’m a happy one. As I get deeper into motherhood I see how one loses one’s self into it. I was fighting so hard at the beginning to “retain my identity” and now that isn’t so important in the same way. Now I see it as a temporary state, this full emersion as the mother of a baby.
My mother recently told me how she remembered my first full day of school. After dropping me off and returning home she thought, “Oh, I have a full day alone. I”ll listen to music now. Now, I’ll make something to eat. Well, what do I do now?”
I try to remember the things I would see her doing as I grew up. There were crafts, International Wive’s Clubs (charity organizations when we lived overseas), volunteering at my school, sewing costumes for us, making all of our lunches, taking us shopping for school supplies and driving us everywhere.
I never heard her say anything about, “What about me? I need my identity. I need my career.” It wasn’t for lack of ambition or intelligence. She quietly did all the house chores herself, never asked for recognition and laughed often, telling us that no one was going to make us happy, that it was up to ourselves.
I’m going to soak it all up, mothering my little one. These days will be gone someday. I’m still here.