Category Archives: Navy

Happy Memorial Day

May 26, 2014

Navy

Navy DaysI hope you are enjoying a wonderful holiday! We are! I want to recognize those we remember today who died while serving. I am so proud to have served even for my short time in The U.S. Navy. So many people are serving right now, staying awake long hours away from family and keeping us safe. It’s a complex world we live in. I pray for peace and harmony for everyone. I am also thinking of those left behind by fallen service members, particularly a mother of 4 I know who recently lost her husband. 

Have a safe holiday!! 

TBT: The Hottest I’ve Ever Looked

January 30, 2014

Navy / TMI / Uncategorized

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I figured I could post something embarrassing more easily if I was going to be out of town. This is a photo of my very dear friend, Annie, the band Dishwalla and myself. We were tasked with giving the band a tour of our Navy ship. They were there to sign autographs and stuff for the sailors while we docked for Fleet Week in San Fransisco. Annie and I are probably smiling on 2 hours of sleep and 4 donuts. 

Check out those pants. See how high they come up? If you could turn us around, you would see that our tushes measure about 34 inches long (from top to bottom). We called it NIA (Navy Issued A**). 

One summer a few years prior to this, when I was still at UCLA, I was on my way to summer training on a ship in Japan. I picked up my pile of uniforms and excitedly tried them on at my apartment. The main uniform I would be wearing was a blue onesie, kind of like a mechanic’s uniform. Well, my onesies were super tight. I went back to the supply department to exchange them but the chief there refused and told me to deal with it. 

Oh, I dealt with it. I owned that J. Lo cat suit all summer long. It was so tight and the pant legs were even high waters somehow. In order to use the restroom, you had to unzip the zipper all the way down, pull the sleeves off your arms and pull the whole thing down. I had to contort like an acrobat in order to get that thing off without hurting any private areas. 

Then I heard it. “Donkey.” Yes, that was my ship wide nickname. 

When I entered the Navy for real, and I was responsible for buying my own blue uniforms, I brought them so big they were like tarps and the belt was the only thing that kept it from blowing out like a sail. The pant legs were so saggy. There was no way to tell whether I was a girl or a boy. Perfect. 

“Boat Hot”

April 11, 2013

Navy / TMI / Uncategorized

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     When those pointy/witch-toed high heeled shoes first came out I thought, “Man, there is no WAY I’m going to fall into that trend.”  Insert period soon after where I own four pairs.  Sometimes when one thing is in front of you over and over, and options are limited, you start to think it looks good, right?

     In the Navy we called that “boat hot.”  Boat Hot is when someone you thought was unattractive suddenly, after weeks or months at sea, becomes attractive.  That sailor who you used to notice for his or her plaquey teeth and B.O., now gives you a rise whenever you see him or her around the ship.

    The magic of Boat Hot is that when you return to civilization once again, the “hotness” instantly evaporates.  A common reaction is a shudder in acknowledgement of your previous attraction to this person.  Dry heaves can also occur.

   Have you ever snapped out of liking something/someone once you realized it was due to limited options and repetition?

     If you’re into funny phrases/gestures, check the monocle.

(photo by afronie, via Flickr)